


Life After You

by NicNack4U



Series: SPN Season 15 Codas [22]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crying Dean Winchester, Destiel is canon, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Sad, Song: Life After You (Daughtry), Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27520231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicNack4U/pseuds/NicNack4U
Summary: Dean didn't know how long he sat there against the wall. Could've been a few minutes, a few seconds; Time didn't matter to Dean anymore. Time and life were meaningless without his angel.His angel. His. He gripped his hair tighter as he choked out another sob. He never got to tell Cas that he did - does reciprocate his feelings. He does love Cas as much as Cas loves him. That he sees Cas the same way his angel sees him.And now, his angel will never know.Letting out another sob, he pushes off the wall and gets back up on shaky legs. He wobbles a little, then steadies himself and grabbing his phone, walks out of the room on autopilot.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: SPN Season 15 Codas [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549549
Kudos: 32





	Life After You

Dean didn't know how long he sat there against the wall. Could've been a few minutes, a few seconds; Time didn't matter to Dean anymore. Time and life were meaningless without his angel. 

His angel. _His_. He gripped his hair tighter as he choked out another sob. He never got to tell Cas that he _did_ \- _does_ reciprocate his feelings. He _does_ love Cas as much as Cas loves him. That he sees Cas the same way his angel sees him. 

And now, his angel will never know. 

Letting out another sob, he pushes off the wall and gets back up on shaky legs. He wobbles a little, then steadies himself and grabbing his phone, walks out of the room on autopilot. 

Dean doesn't know what to do other than to get out of the bunker and go to his car. He needed to drive. To try to not think for a while. 

What he needed at that moment was his Baby, Zepp, and the open road. 

He'd been driving for a few minutes before his phone rings again. He lets it and turns the volume all the way up when "Ramble On" starts to play. 

_Sorry, Sam. Jack. I just - I just... can't, right now._

When he has to stop at a gas station an unknown amount of time later, Dean has to stop himself from crying again, because he was at a Gas'n'Sip. 

He sits there for a long moment, trying to shove his heartache down long enough to fill his Baby back up. Once he's done that, he heads inside to pay for the gas at the cash register. 

Dean ignores the food and drinks. He doesn't think he could stomach anything right now. 

So, once he pays for the gas, he leaves without a look back, and speeds out of there. 

Down long roads and even some dirt backroads, he drives, with no real destination. He has no idea where he's going, where he wants to go. Or even _why_. 

Eventually, he slightly perks up at a familiar sign in pleasant surprise. 

_Welcome to Pontiac, Illinois,_ the sign says. Dean chokes out a sad laugh and continues to drive. He now knows where he wants to go. What he has to do. 

And when he gets there, the old, abandoned, run-down barn looked just the same as ever. Save for a few more dust bunnies and cobwebs. 

But, that didn't matter to Dean. No, he was focused on the sigils that still lined the walls. The table full of summoning and defense supplies was still there, as was the chair Bobby'd been sitting in that night. 

Dean cried harder, through a wide, sad smile this time. 

Oh, little did he and Bobby know at the time that the creature bursting through those barn doors would become _so_ very important to them. Important to _Dean_. 

He grows sadder as he remembers all their talks and all their time together over the years. They'd bot wasted _so much time_ fearing that they didn't love each other. 

They could've been together this entire time. Dean wanted to scream, rant, rage and cry at the irony of it all. 

But, before he could something disbelieving happened. Disbelieving, but absolutely _amazing._

Dean smiled wide in happiness and even laughed a little in giddiness.

The building shook, the lights flickered and blew out again, just as they had the night they met.

And, just like the night they officially met face-to-face, Castiel blew the doors open wide with the sheer strength of his angelic powers. 

They shared a long look full of meaning. Dean's smile grew. His angel copied the look.

"Hello, Dean."

"Heya, Cas."

Then, Dean frowned in confusion. "But, the Empty... and, your deal... H-How...?"

Castiel smiled cheekily. "Remember that time I annoyed it so much it sent me back? Well, I annoyed it again. This time, by talking about you. All about you and... -" 

He paused, Frowned, then looked down at his feet.

Dean smiled, flattered. He ignored the warmth he felt on his cheeks in favor of smiling teasingly at the one on his angel's. "Aww, Cas. Were you talkin' 'bout how much you love me? Did the Entity really get so annoyed with you talking about l'il ol' me?"

Castiel frowned, tilting his head in that familiar way of his. 

_That fuckin' tilt, man,_ Dean thought, holding back a giddy laughter of love, _Still so fuckin' adorable._

"Dean, are you - are you laughing at me?"

Dean's eyes widened. His mouth formed an 'O' in shock. "Wha - ? Cas, no, _no_. Listen, I would _never_ laugh at your feelings for me. _Ever_ , okay? Let' get that right, right friggin' now. And, -"

His blush deepened as he continued. He rubbed the back of his neck, then ran a hand through his hair. Dean then shook his head as he laughed. "I just think it _sucks_ that I didn't get to answer your confession with one of my own to you in return."

He faced Castiel head-on as he heard his angel gasp in shock. "Dean, you - ? Your - ?"

Dean nodded, then stepped closer into the angel's - his angel's - personal space. "Yeah," Dean whispered huskily. "I love you too, Cas."

He swallowed Castiel's gasp with a kiss. 

They pulled back for air after twelve seconds of making out gently, sweetly. 

"By the way," Dean gasped for air. "Don't you _dare_ ever die on me like that ever again, you ass-butt! Ya hear?!" 

The angel chuckled, playfully knocking his forehead to Dean's. "I hear you, Dean. Loud and clear. Always." 


End file.
